Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Waiting Game

Ever get tired and tired of waiting for something that just doesn't appear as though it will happen?  Well, of course everyone feels like that sometimes, and trust me, I am feeling like that right now.  You see, my sweetie and I have been trying to have a baby for over 10 months now.  I know it's not a ridiculous amount of time, but it is kinda long.  The first few months were brutal and heart-wrenching (I don't have much patience), but then I settled into it.  I decided to live and love and appreciate my life as it is right now, minus a baby.  This whole summer was great, interspersed with some sadness and tears and anger whenever my period started.  But, that sadness never lasted long.  And, for the record, trying to make a baby is fun :)

I'm still pretty calm and collected about it, I know it will happen when it's supposed to happen.  But, right now,  I am annoyed.  Yup, freakin' annoyed.  C'mon body, you've treated me like crap for the past 10 years, can't ya just give a little??

Now, not to worry :)  For the most part, my life is still sunshine and rainbows.  I'm not even remotely bitter about it, and still get completely blissed out about others pregnancies (Nadine, I am looking at you!  I wanna touch your growing belly!).  I love my hubby more than ever, I've got an amazing group of friends, and there have been some cool happenings in my little town.  I think about my goals and dreams for me, not just for me as a future mom. 

I guess I just needed to put it down on screen.  I feel better :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sock grips?

So, the intense flare is over, but I'm having lingering pain in my left shoulder and left knee.  And the hip is still stiff, but not as bad as before.  Just preventing me from easily putting on my right sock in the morning.  Am I really going to have to ask my husband to put on my sock for me?  I'm not saying this is a bad thing (cause we all know we need help from time to time.  Or everyday.), it's just that it's one more thing I need help with.  I'm also sleeping much better (as in a couple of hours in a row, yay!) and waking up less stiff.  All in all, not too shabby :)  I'm hoping that the slightly less busy, less frequent travelling in my future will help out with this.

Thanks for everyone's good thoughts and kind words.  They are invaluable to me.  The reason I started this blog was to get and give support, and I am getting it in droves.  Whether that is by you stopping in to comment on one of my posts, or by me reading all of yours.  Thank each and every one of you RA-battling heroes!  You totally rock!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Gimme a break

Really, RA?  You're really moving into my hips???  The one part of me that I would brag about to folks, "but at least I have good strong hips!"???  I mean, I know I had that one night flare ten years ago in my right hip, but nothing since then.  Why are you all up in my grill (whatever that means)????  And, now that we're talking, why have you moved into my left shoulder?  You've dominated my right shoulder for over a year now, rendering it incapable of being raised above my head.  Now you want to do that to my other one?  What, you want to ensure that I have dirty hair cause I can't reach up and completely wash my hair?  So now I can barely reach my head AND my feet.  Thanks a lot, jerk.

Oh crud, I just took a proactive break from ranting to book an appointment with my doctor for some cortisone shots in said nasty joints and he is away for the next few weeks.  And, getting cortisone shots makes me really paranoid.  I've had doctors struggle giving them to me, banging into the bone, so I don't want to just go to anyone.  Poop.

On a positive note (and despite how it may seem, I do try to remain positive) I just got back from my best friend's wedding and it was beautiful!  I was in massive flare mode, but I had a great time visiting long time friends, decorating, getting mani/pedis (for the first time ever!) and eating a lot of food.  I'll write more on this later, I promise!!